I’ve got two modes — and acceptance ain’t one.
I can recall penning several columns back in my days as a journalist of sorts, speaking to what I assume is the fairly common phenomenon of being averse to any sudden change, upheaval, uncertainty… all things that tend to make those who favor routine a bit uneasy.
Is this the most constructive approach to life? Certainly not.
Have I become more adaptable as the years have evolved? Depends on how you choose to define such a term.
I think, as we grow older—and hopefully somewhat wiser—we begin to realize that most of the things we worry about don’t, in fact, come to pass. Instead, it’s the random, out-of-left-field, slightly absurd circumstances that we’re forced to face which ultimately prove our resilience. Or lack thereof.
We’ve all seen the inspirational quotes, perused the articles and books, listened to the podcasts, subscribed to the YouTube channels—each one promising some brand new insight into how to go about living our optimal life, to flourish in whatever environment we may have chosen, or been tossed into.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s some great content out there. Solid rationale. Assuming logic enters into the equation.
For myself, I tend to embrace one of two mindsets — a) instant anxiety and overthinking, fueled by diving down endless rabbit holes in an effort to ‘explore’ {obsess over} every possible outcome of said hypothetical situation, without having the required psychic abilities to render this exercise even remotely constructive; or b) complete and utter disconnection and detachment from the situation.
There is no in between.
And how have such approaches worked out for me?
a) Not especially well.
b) Not as bad as one would think.
Here’s the thing. Obsessing = bad. No good can come from it. Does this mean I don’t still indulge in the self-fulfilling prophecy of a good downward spiral from time to time? No. No it doesn’t. Checking out = probably equally ill-advised, but with the not-insignificant caveat that peace of mind is priceless. And when one’s mind is unplugged… well, alternate reality can be pretty zen.
There are those who may read this—certainly those who may have had occasion to observe me in realtime—and think ‘what a nonsensical approach.’ No one ever embraced living life to the fullest by running away from it, sure. But, perhaps, the more crucial consideration is what, exactly, we’re rushing to embrace. Why do we feel obligated to be ‘all in’ on what others dictate to be most important?
I would argue—and have, with fairly limited success—that there’s always a choice to be made. There are exactly ZERO true requirements, no matter how much we continue to convince ourselves that we simply must do or say or respond in a particular way. Just because someone happens to have jumped on a bandwagon and rallied the troops to gather doesn’t mean unanimous acceptance should be a foregone conclusion.
So yeah. Two modes. Neither one ideal. But, when faced with the day-to-day chaos of changing tides, you will most likely find me on {excuse the inside baseball reference} the right side of the roaring rapids. And so much the better for it.
IYKYK.