Christmas Conundrums

And just like that, it’s less than two weeks until Christmas. No sooner did I unpack my infamous Christmas closet and brace myself for the avalanche of décor which poured forth, then I must now begin to contemplate how in the world I’m going to fit everything back where I found it. ’Tis the season, indeed, short as it may be. 

I’m sure I am not alone in discovering that, upon surveying the annual spread of lights and battery-operated trinkets, there are always some casualties carried over from the previous holiday season - lights that no longer twinkle, animated knick knacks that have become somewhat more stationary, garland that was torn by the wind… whatever the case may be.

This year, remembering I had taken my remaining lights and tossed them in the trash in frustration somewhere between Christmas ’16 and the dropping of the ball in Times Square, I knew I was in the market for replacements. Of course, not having measured prior to heading to the store, I was forced to guess at what might fit. 

Once home, I found that A) the strand of lights barely stretched across the window frame, necessitating an extension cord to reach the outlet; B) the multi-colored assortment I had chosen came with a fun bonus feature, a “twinkling” variation leaving me constantly squinting to be sure I wasn’t hallucinating; and C) the best part of all, the frequent sound of the entire strand falling from the top of the window, as a few strategically placed pieces of tape gave way. Every. Single. Night. On the hour, at least. 

How many days until Christmas? 

And with that, I have yet to begin the process of shopping, planning the Christmas Eve menu, or mailing out my photo card creations - another debacle if ever there was one. Suffice to say, in my haste to choose pictures and arrange them in the template I had selected, I neglected to “flip” the card over and notice it was, in fact, a postcard. How very traditional. 

Season’s Greetings from my apartment, where Christmas rarely goes off without a hitch, the lights never stop blinking, and the closet door may indeed fall off its hinges before the final present is wrapped. 

Darn, wrapping paper. 


{Published: December 13th, 2017}